The ball always bounces back
Breathe from the belly. I say that to myself when I wake up in the morning. Breath from the diaphragm, not the chest. Otherwise I'll eventually gulp air, creating shallow sounds, as well as anxiety. Since March I've had to remind myself of that. Just breathe. I even wrote a song about it years ago. After all the uncertainty we've experienced over the past few months, I know one thing:
"La pelota siempre se devuelve"
I grew up hearing this phrase which in English literally means, the ball always bounces back or, what goes around, comes around. Whether it was a mean girl making fun of me in school or a relative being nasty, as soon as I heard my mom or abuelita intone the phrase, I would shiver. Because inevitably, something always happened. The girl who mocked me? Kicked out of boarding school. The nasty relative spent the last few years of her life paralyzed, only able to look at the ceiling. The universe is eerie that way: whatever you put out there comes back tenfold. If you're kind, you'll get kindness in return. If you're used to throwing crap out into the world, you'd better be prepared to have a pile of it tossed back at you. And there's no point in waiting for the other person will get their 'comeuppance'. Why take someone else's inventory? Best to concentrate on my own. Basically there's my business and then there's none of my business.
So my task each day is to put one foot in front of the other, try not to talk about someone behind their back (which I'll admit can be difficult), keep up with friends and family, do my work, and aim to be a smidgen better of a voice actor than I was yesterday. If I think I can give a better audition, I go back and redo it. I do my best to be kind when talking on the phone, even if the sales agent on the other end is not. I smile at the woman ringing up my Trader Joe's purchases and compliment her, because it's way better than scowling. I may be depressed or feeling bad but that's certainly not her problem. I try to do one kind, anonymous act a day. Whatever I give out will come back to me. It's my job to get out out of my own way. Breathe. And exhale. The ball always bounces back.